On the San Francisco Campus for Jewish Living (the Campus), UCSF’s Geriatric Research Team has been studying how to best support seniors, particularly how to create the best circumstances for their transition to long-term care. 

The daily acts of kindness throughout our Campus are easy to spot: a nurse tending to the needs of a patient in the middle of the night, our dining team preparing a special treat for a milestone birthday, a member of the housekeeping staff sharing in the joy of a resident whose grandchild just graduated from college. And on and on and on.

Edwin Cabigao was proud of what he accomplished during his original tenure at the San Francisco Campus for Jewish Living (the Campus). And he had a lot to be proud of, including elevating the clinic staff to perform at their highest level, providing excellent care. But after nine years as Chief Nursing Officer, he was ready for new challenges. Indeed, his perpetual quest for growth has marked a healthcare career that took him from CNA to RN to RN PhD. Even when I knew something had to change, I kept asking myself if I was doing the right thing. I wondered if a better daughter would have found a way to keep her at home longer. I felt the weight of other people’s opinions, and the quiet fear that I was letting her down. I live nearby, which allows me to visit often and stay involved. Even so, the transition was harder than I expected. Letting go of daily caregiving and trusting others with her well-being took time. I learned quickly that being close does not erase worry. And for families who do not live nearby, I now understand how much heavier that uncertainty can feel. I thought the move would make things easier. Instead, my role changed. I was no longer managing everything myself, but I was still carrying the responsibility and the emotional weight. Letting go is not a single moment. It happens again and again.

Mia Felson believes in preparation. She came to the campus with a guitar in one hand, a ukulele in the other, a bag of percussive shakers for anyone to play along, and a set list that ranged from Elvis to the Beatles, with jazz and pop classics from the Great American Songbook sprinkled in. That’s a pretty impressive repertoire for a seasoned musician. But when Mia started her “career” at the San Francisco Campus for Jewish Living (Campus), she had not yet had her Bat Mitzvah.

When I tell people my mom lives in a memory care community, they often say, “That must be such a relief.” I usually nod, because it is easier than explaining everything that came with that decision. Yes, Mom is safer now. She has structure, companionship, and support throughout the day. But choosing memory care was not a moment of clarity. It was a moment of heartbreak mixed with doubt. Even when I knew something had to change, I kept asking myself if I was doing the right thing. I wondered if a better daughter would have found a way to keep her at home longer. I felt the weight of other people’s opinions, and the quiet fear that I was letting her down. I live nearby, which allows me to visit often and stay involved. Even so, the transition was harder than I expected. Letting go of daily caregiving and trusting others with her well-being took time. I learned quickly that being close does not erase worry. And for families who do not live nearby, I now understand how much heavier that uncertainty can feel. I thought the move would make things easier. Instead, my role changed. I was no longer managing everything myself, but I was still carrying the responsibility and the emotional weight. Letting go is not a single moment. It happens again and again.

“How often do you have the opportunity not only to see great films but to talk about them with the filmmakers?” asked Ed Kaplan. Well, if you are a member of the San Francisco Campus for Jewish Living community, like Ed, the answer is at least two more this season. The Campus will continue its partnership with the Jewish Film Institute to host two upcoming screenings and filmmaker Q&As in the Osher Performance Center on November 6 and December 9.